I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Randomize
