Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I enjoy the company of your penis
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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