Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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