At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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