he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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