Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
