Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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