I wish I only lived at night.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
