Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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