i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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