ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
