I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
