After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
