its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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