We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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