she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
