i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm going to jail i love you
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
