she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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