I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
