Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
