Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
