Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
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