I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize