I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
