Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
