I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize