Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
