SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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