I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
