You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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