Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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