Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
