its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
