bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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