I want to make a zoo with you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
