he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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