You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
