awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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