Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
