brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
