i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
