Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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