I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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