You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
