I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
