do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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