I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
