When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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