It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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