i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
