Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Holy shit dude........stairs
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
