Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
