Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
