Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
