i just wanna soil my oats bro
Operation Purity has been aborted
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
