took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
