Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
