I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
