She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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