But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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