Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
