watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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