Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I need water and some morals
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
