i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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