I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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