Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
